Friends & family
How to talk to your roommate about cleaning
You’re talking to Sam, your roommate. Dishes are piling up and nobody has cleaned the bathroom in weeks. Sam is gaming. The goal: agree on a fair plan without a fight.
Your first line
“Hey, got a sec after this round? I want to figure out dishes and the bathroom with you, because it’s been getting to me.”
Start soft: a friendly opener at a good moment keeps Sam from feeling ambushed. Naming just two things keeps it fixable.
What Sam might say, and what to say back
Sam: “I mean, the place is fine.”
You: “Mostly, yeah. It’s the sink. I can’t really cook when it’s full, and the bathroom hasn’t been cleaned in weeks.”
Sam: “I take out the trash, though.”
You: “You do, and I appreciate it. Could you do the dishes on trash day too, and we take turns on the bathroom every other Sunday?”
Sam: “Do we really need a schedule?”
You: “Not a big chart. Just those two things. Want to try it for a month and see how it goes?”
Two things that trip people up
- Saying “you never clean anything.”Name one or two specific things, like the sink and the bathroom.
- Showing up with a full chore chart.Suggest one simple plan with days, and ask what works around their schedule.
Now say it out loud
Reading the words isn’t the same as saying them. Practice this one with Sam pushing back like the real person would. Then your coach, June, fixes your exact words. The move to focus on: Start soft.
Practice this one free3 free reps a day. No sign-up. Out loud or typed.