Work
How to ask your boss for honest feedback
You’re talking to Nadia, your manager. Your weekly 1:1 with Nadia. You want one real thing to work on. The goal: ask for one specific thing to improve and how you’ll know you did.
Your first line
“I’d like one piece of honest feedback. What’s one thing I could do better that would make the biggest difference?”
Specific ask: asking for one thing gets a real answer, while “any feedback?” gets “you’re doing great.”
What Nadia might say, and what to say back
Nadia: “Honestly, you’re doing great. Keep it up.”
You: “Thanks, I appreciate that. I still want the honest version. If you had to pick one thing, what would it be?”
Nadia: “Nothing major comes to mind.”
You: “Even something small helps. Maybe how I run my updates in team meetings? Anything there?”
Nadia: “We can go over all that at review time.”
You: “Sure. I’d like a head start, though. Could you pick one thing now, and we check in on it in two weeks?”
Two things that trip people up
- Asking “Any feedback for me?”Ask for one specific thing: “What’s one thing that would make the biggest difference?”
- Explaining or defending when you finally get a note.Say thanks, ask one question to make it concrete, and set a date to check in.
Now say it out loud
Reading the words isn’t the same as saying them. Practice this one with Nadia pushing back like the real person would. Then your coach, Rae, fixes your exact words. The move to focus on: Specific ask.
Practice this one free3 free reps a day. No sign-up. Out loud or typed.